Student With Pierced Tongue Mistaken For Retarded

ANN ARBOR, MI -- When Karen Hall, a junior at the University of Michigan, got her tongue pierced last week, it swelled up to almost four times its normal size. During the course of the rest of the week, Hall’s speech was severely impaired and professors had a difficult time understanding her.

“Oh…how sweet. We got the retarded girl,” said Mrs. Bartuzzi, Hall’s Sociology professor, who reportedly did not recognize the shy student.

When Hall pointed at her open mouth in an attempt to clear up the misunderstanding, Bartuzzi said, “That’s so sad. Look at the poor thing. I think she’s hungry…who has food?

“Comon you guys,” she said. “I’m not blind. Someone always has food in here.”

According to reports, this routine was repeated in all of Hall’s classes, with the instructors imploring, “Slow down now, honey…it will be okay,” as an exasperated Hall desperately protested and continually mumbled, “Um mot weetahded.”

While the students filed out of the buildings at the end of the week, Hall was found in a secluded hallway, reviewing her recent test scores and smiling. “Ulkay, ah em weetahded.”

Ironically, Hall is headed to Wayne State University for graduate school, where she plans to follow a path in special education…as a teacher, not a student.